Steve Harvey's Straight Talk for Women About Men:
Michelle, who is 25 and single, wanted to know how to gently let down a man who she isn't interested in. "You can't," Harvey said bluntly. "We don't care what you do.
"A restraining order is sometimes helpful," he joked. "Or you could fake a seizure."
Erika Lewis, 35, is single and struggling with an issue many women around the country are facing right now. Because of the economic downturn, she is dating men who are out of work. "What advice would you give to me if I'm, you know, doing all the providing financially to make sure that he doesn't feel emasculated?" she asked.
Harvey said that if a man is working hard to look for a job, you should hang in there and support and encourage him in a smart way. But if he's just sitting around, then you have a problem.
"The economy's tough out there," he said.
He advised Lewis and all women to remember that a man's job goes right to his DNA: "Who he is, what he does, and how much he makes."
If a man is out of work for a long time, "you're dealing with a guy that's pretty broken," Harvey said. "All you can do is be encouraging."
Jacinta, 25, wondered how she could engage in watching sports with her husband.
"My husband loves sports, watches it all the time," she said. "I didn't even know there were so many ESPN channels. However, when I try to be engaged or ask questions, he looks at me like, what are you doing?"
If you aren't a true fan, Harvey advised, you should find something else the two of you can watch as a couple. "He knows this is not sincere," Harvey said. "You're just trying to figure out why he's picking sports over you."
Men have to pay attention to sports, Harvey continued. "We've got to be abreast of this so we can participate as men the next day," he said.
Rina, who is 30 and married, asked why men aren't as chivalrous after they get married.
"Chivalry never changes," Harvey said. "It is just you stop expecting it and you expect less. ... He will do the same things if you keep expecting it and requiring it."
Harvey said he still opens the car door for his wife "because she is going to stand there and require that I do the same things. Chivalry doesn't stop, it is just that women stop requiring it and expecting less."
Posted By: Craig Coleman
Friday, November 13th 2009 at 10:38PM
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